Doggie bag July 7, 2007

I’m walking down the street yesterday and I see this really cute dachshund. Its owner has it dressed up in a little skirt thing. She is trying to get it into a dog carrier bag. The dog is having none of it, wriggling all over the place. She finally manages to shove the poor thing into the bag and zip it up all the way round, so only its head is poking out, whimpering the whole time. She then slings the bag over her shoulder, now she is ready to go shopping.

I wanted to go over there and bitch slap her. Japanese people (girls especially) seem to think that animals and babies are fashion accessories, with no idea or concern that these are actual living things. It’s like Paris Hilton exploded in this country.

Someone said to me once that Japan is where liberals come to become racist. I find myself slowly slipping into this category and it is very scary. There are just so many things about Japanese culture that are very warped and scary. Arrghhh, I need a vacation.

Green rabbit blood June 28, 2007

I have had some crazy students in my day, but this guy I had a few days ago was just off the charts. I’m not sure if he was a) on drugs b) insane or c) just screwing with me by saying the most random shit

Most teachers at work keep funny quotes from students. This guy had so many gems that I thought I’d share them with you. 

‘I am street child.’ …  ’I live anywhere street.’ … ‘I prefer skid row to avenue.’ … ‘I work in cucumber plantation. Two decades (he’s in his early thirties, so unlikely).’ … ‘I was born LA, Compton area. Discrimination is incorrect. Why Reagan fight the cold war, and so on.’ … 

My personal favorite – ‘I am proletariat not bourgeious, so I don’t use umbrella.’ He then proceeded to ask me if I used an umbrella. I said yes. Then he said I must be middle class.

He had a stack of dictionaries that he brought with him to the lesson, so he asked me ‘Which dictionary do you like?’ Then he wanted me to make up my own word. ‘Please, make new word!’ I was a little reluctant but eventually caved. He was really excited, ‘Thank you for your beautiful word!’

We were doing a vocabulary lesson on education. During the lesson you show your students pictures and they have to speculate what’s going on and you try to elicit vocab from them. Well, we were looking at a picture of a professor lecturing a room full of students. Most students say that it’s a professor or a teacher. He said, ‘Agitator is delivering and his hooligan supporter fanaticals listen to his demigod.’

Then there was a picture of a chemist and a physicist. He said, ‘They make atomic bomb dinner.’

Rest of quotes: ‘She is CIA secret mission to kill me.’ … ‘You are tender teacher. I like you. You are apple of my eye.’ … ‘I dislike high school students, they make me vomit.’ … ‘I dislike Hitler and Japanese politician. Discrimination people. I hate Judas.’ … ‘If I was a bird, I would fly to Namba to see you.’

Seriously folks, you cannot make this stuff up.

                                             

Girl’s got game June 21, 2007

I’m kind of having a weird streak. Basically, there are 6 different guys trying to sleep with me right now and I am not remotely interested in any of them. At first it was fun, but now it’s just a pain in the ass. I’ve stopped answering my phone. There’s only so many times I can have the ‘we’re just friends’ talk and make up bullshit lies to keep them at bay. It’s totally strange because a few jock/popular/frat guys are after me. These are the same guys in high school/college that didn’t give me the time of day. It’s like some weird cosmic power shift circa the high school/early university years. I really want a proper boyfriend, but none of these guys are bf material if you know what I mean. Still, I guess a girl shouldn’t complain about getting attention from men – just a bit bummed that it’s not the right ones! I’ve gotten more male attention in the past 4 weeks than I did at my entire 4 years of university, still observing my self-imposed celibacy rule

It’s always the same June 6, 2007

I went to my ex’s leaving drinks last night, being really positive, glad that we did the ‘being friends’ thing even though I was in love/lust. I’m not sure what was worse – him ignoring me, refusing to acknowledge me as his ex, or when he left to have sex with some random girl he just met. Needless to say, I left and he received a nasty text. Maybe I didn’t have a right to be angry, but I was certainly very hurt. I think I’m attracted to the wrong men, or at least the same kind of men. I need a break.

Seriously single in Osaka.

Rice: a SF girl’s favorite treat June 3, 2007

I bought a rice cooker today!!!!! I forgot how good they are. My mom used to have one. Rice from a rice cooker is SO much better than rice cooked in a pot. AND you can use them to steam vegetables. I am seriously happy. I think I’m turning into an old lady that gets really excited about kitchen gadgets. It might be time to start dating again. I thought I was in love with my ex who is leaving, but now I’m starting to think I was just in lust (or maybe I really do love him … crap). The man I went out with prior (for nearly 4 years) was just so bad in bed, that I thought “Hey, he’s good at sex, I must love him!” ….. Silly girl. So I have now learned one of life’s important lessons – it is easy to confuse love and good sex   Tata folks!

Sicko May 22, 2007

Ok, so I assume most of you have heard about Michael Moore’s new film, Sicko, attacking the heath care industry in the US. I love his films but does anyone else think it’s strange that an obese man is making a film about health? If you wanna cut down your health care bills, step away from the cheeseburger man! Seriously.

Sexy Beijing May 16, 2007

I just discovered this wonderful mini-documentary ala Sex and the City on youtube called ‘Sexy Beijing’. It’s a thirty year old american woman in china interviewing people about love, relationships and women in china….. carrie bradshaw meets michael moore. I’m addicted. Each segment is 6-8 minutes long and it’s so professionally done. I highly recommend watching an episode or ten. Amazingly cool media, eat your heart out Murdoch!

watch it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvtWAXoZjTc

I wanna be a porn star May 15, 2007

So I was at a bar last night chatting to a friend, when a japanese guy comes and starts smooth talking us… i’m like whatever some salaryman… then he introduces me to his associate, a japanese girl named ‘blue’…. we talk and it’s obvious she’s not a nurse (her cover story) and they start asked if i’m a bad girl and if my friend is a bad boy….. hahaha only in my life would this happen

 so, uh i left before clothes could be shed….

Eurovision May 12, 2007

I’m really sad that I don’t get to watch Eurovision tonight. My life is just not complete without a Eurovision party to go to. What’s the point of living when there are no cheesy camp songs to watch and get drunk to. The betting is always fun. Last year my country was Finland. Obviously, I won the betting pool. Hard rock hallelujah.

The birthday post May 12, 2007

Turned 25 last week. Was a little freaked out about turning 25 and being single, then got mad at myself for being upset at being single and for being such a bad feminist. It was a vicious circle.

Went out with friends for drinks, bowling and assorted arcade games. Ended up piss-drunk in a batting cage trying to hit soft balls at 3AM. I did a pretty good job … I think. Dragged myself home at 7AM and collapsed in bed. Maybe I’m getting too old for these all night drinking sessions.

My ex took me out for dinner the next evening. It was very sweet and lovely, Thai food is so yummy. Lots of food, beer, good conversation and a lingering hug at the end. It felt more like a really good date. Maybe this is what being friends with an ex is like? All in all, feeling a bit more grown up than last year.