I have had some crazy students in my day, but this guy I had a few days ago was just off the charts. I’m not sure if he was a) on drugs b) insane or c) just screwing with me by saying the most random shit
Most teachers at work keep funny quotes from students. This guy had so many gems that I thought I’d share them with you.
‘I am street child.’ … ’I live anywhere street.’ … ‘I prefer skid row to avenue.’ … ‘I work in cucumber plantation. Two decades (he’s in his early thirties, so unlikely).’ … ‘I was born LA, Compton area. Discrimination is incorrect. Why Reagan fight the cold war, and so on.’ …
My personal favorite – ‘I am proletariat not bourgeious, so I don’t use umbrella.’ He then proceeded to ask me if I used an umbrella. I said yes. Then he said I must be middle class.
He had a stack of dictionaries that he brought with him to the lesson, so he asked me ‘Which dictionary do you like?’ Then he wanted me to make up my own word. ‘Please, make new word!’ I was a little reluctant but eventually caved. He was really excited, ‘Thank you for your beautiful word!’
We were doing a vocabulary lesson on education. During the lesson you show your students pictures and they have to speculate what’s going on and you try to elicit vocab from them. Well, we were looking at a picture of a professor lecturing a room full of students. Most students say that it’s a professor or a teacher. He said, ‘Agitator is delivering and his hooligan supporter fanaticals listen to his demigod.’
Then there was a picture of a chemist and a physicist. He said, ‘They make atomic bomb dinner.’
Rest of quotes: ‘She is CIA secret mission to kill me.’ … ‘You are tender teacher. I like you. You are apple of my eye.’ … ‘I dislike high school students, they make me vomit.’ … ‘I dislike Hitler and Japanese politician. Discrimination people. I hate Judas.’ … ‘If I was a bird, I would fly to Namba to see you.’
Seriously folks, you cannot make this stuff up.
